Mothers and women everywhere find themselves in new and powerful positions everyday however, we sometimes find that at home we are experiencing the same old feelings of being tired and powerless. We are a victim of sorts in our own homes and to our own decisions. Somehow we've agreed to work outside the home, inside the home and still not feel fulfilled. We worry that our homes are not as clean as our neighbors, our kids are not as nurtured as our sisters and our hair styles are not as coifed as the single, skinny, smart girl who was just hired in our department on yesterday.

We're resenting our spouses at home and fighting against other women at work while trying to be the good girl, the bad girl or the girl in charge. Next we rush to and fro dropping off kids, grocery shopping, and picking up laundry. We are simply tired.

So ladies...it's time for us to stop the craziness. Let's give up the madness and slow down. We can get it all done but stop doing it all alone. We can gain strength from other women around us and can stop competing with everyone else! Our "busy-ness" is all in our heads. We can simplify our lives and downsize our priorities. We can be present at home and at work and look great while doing it.

But putting looks aside, what is our REAL ISSUE? Well, the real issue is that we as women have often made life decisions in our 20's, when we were finding our way, and we are still living with the consequences of those decisions today. In my case for instance, I married at 26. By the time I was 30, I had three children. Being the woman that I am, I poured my life into my family. Good sense and the desire to be a good mother compelled me to be willing to give up or at least not focus on my life or my plans for personal development. I had three kids to raise and had no idea how emotionally hard or physically taxing that was going to be. But alas, the children are older now, I remain married and now it's time for real personal focus.


As I reflect today with my 44 year old mind, I realize just how the decision I made 18 years ago impacted my life. When I think about it, I realize the decision I made then (as right as it was) wasn't made from a place of strength and confidence. I was neither strong nor secure. At that time I didn't walk in my truth. As a matter of fact, I didn't know what my truth was. I was walking in what I thought and had seen was the dream of most American women: find love, get married, have kids. So I did that but without the knowledge and understanding of what it would really mean to me as a person. So many of you have made a very similar decision and now find that you are in a very similar place. We made decisions, good and bad, which have led us to the emotional chaos we manage daily now.


For those of us who work or have worked in corporate America, we are familiar with the annual performance evalution. We know that what gets measured is what gets done. Well when did we last do our own personal evaluations? What goals, traits, and descriptions are we measuring ourselves against? Have we tracked how many beds we've have made, how many meals we've have cooked, or how many kisses we have successfully landed on the foreheads of your little ones?

Now is the time to take a personal inventory. Let's give ourselves the ultimate performance evaluation. What do we have that we love? What do we have that we hate? What can we do to get back to our personal plans for ourselves?